This morning the air was heavy with humidity while I stood outside, staring at my beautiful, slightly intimidating swimming pool. The pool is such a joy for me, a place for fitness, relaxation and peace, nestled privately in a clearing surrounded by our woods, with a soundtrack of birdsong and frogs, but it also involves a set of daunting responsibilities.
One of those responsibilities is flushing the pool's diatomaceous earth filter system. Now, if you’ve ever done this before, you know it’s not just about flipping a switch. The instructions came with pressure warnings and stern notices about bodily harm, property damage, and death. There are little stick figure people losing limbs and heads illustrated on the top of the pump. Understandably, I was terrified.
For weeks, I've been avoiding the task, hoping the filter system would somehow take care of itself. But the pool pump had pretty much stopped working it was so clogged up, keeping the water free of pollen, bugs, and debris was becoming a real manual grind, and it was obvious that ignoring the problem wasn’t a sustainable solution. I knew I had to face my fear head-on.
I freaked out a bit to my wife. “I have to do it,” I said. “I can’t avoid it any longer. But what if something goes wrong? This is so scary and I feel like a giant chicken baby. I don't know how to overcome my fear.”
In that moment, she offered me the encouragement I needed. “Shawn, you can do scary things. Let’s break this down together. Also, what the heck is a giant chicken baby?”
After I explained that it meant I felt helpless and scared, she started by acknowledging my fear. "Fear is a natural response to the unknown, and it’s okay to feel it. It's healthy to be cautious when you're doing something new that could be dangerous. But it’s also important to understand that fear doesn’t have to paralyze us. It can be a catalyst for action."
“What exactly are you afraid of?” she asked.
“The warnings,” I admitted. “The idea that I could mess up and cause serious damage.”
“Okay,” she said, “let’s look at this logically. You’re not alone in this. There are resources and support available. Have you read through the instructions thoroughly? Have you considered reaching out to a professional for guidance?”
I nodded, taking a deep breath. “I’ve read the instructions multiple times, I watched a couple YouTube tutorials, but I could definitely call a professional for advice.”
“Great,” she encouraged. “And remember, self-compassion is key. You’re doing something new and challenging, and it’s okay to ask for help.”
I texted our pool guy apologetically. His replies were generous, reminding me that this was new to me and apologies weren't necessary, offering to stop by, and providing encouragement and advice. The reassurance from an expert provided a significant boost to my confidence. Knowing what I needed to do and with a newfound sense of courage, I felt ready to go.
I stood by the pool pump, tools in hand, heart pounding. I followed the instructions step by step, remembering to breathe deeply and stay present in the moment. With each step completed, my confidence grew. The pressure warnings seemed less intimidating as I realized I was capable of handling the situation. Even the disfigured stick figures seemed to celebrate my accomplishment.
When I finally flushed the filter system, it worked perfectly. No damage, no harm - just a clean, sparkling pool and a profound sense of accomplishment.
My wife came to check on me and I boasted, my voice filled with pride and relief. “I did it,” I said. “I actually did it.”
“I knew you could." She paused. "You can do scary things, Shawn. Remember this feeling the next time you face a challenge.”
No matter what scary thing you're confronted with on your journey, it’s essential to recognize and embrace the power of courage and self-compassion. We all face scary things, whether it’s flushing a pool filter, making a difficult decision at work, or stepping into a new role. The key is to break down the fear, seek support, and approach each challenge with a blend of logic and empathy.
This story is a reminder that we are capable of more than we often realize. By leveraging our strengths, leaning on our support networks, and taking care of ourselves, we can face our fears and come out stronger on the other side.
So, the next time you find yourself staring down a daunting task, remember that you, too, can do scary things. And when you do, you’ll discover the strength and resilience within you.
And, if you want to call on an expert for support, reach out for a complimentary consultation!
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